FORWARD
What stifles ambition? What stops the forward momentum of a life?
Besides death, it's ones own self. What we say to ourselves, how we hinder, and hold back the dream that wants to grow and live.
Do I care more about how my life looks to others instead of how I actually live it?
Something inside me wants more, knows there is more than coming home watching TV or wallowing through the exercise in futility and frustration that is Soap Twitter.
Why have I always felt like the girl on the outside? Why have I always wanted to be in the place where all the fun stuff is happening? Why did my mind convince me it wasn't where I am.
Why do I hesitate? Why am I unsure? Why am I holding me back?
Do I like myself? 
Dear Father help me remove that boulder! The thing that gets in the way of my taking action, my jumping in, my running ahead, my leap of faith, my putting one foot in front of the other.
I still don't know what to call it, fear, self loathing, foolishness, low self esteem, all of the above. I want to know what I want, I want to move forward.
I don't know what is in my future, but I want it to include more writing, some acting, growing, learning, loving life. I want to walk down the path you have chosen for me, but I must walk, I must move forward, I must advance. I cannot and will not stand still.
I want a healthy mind and body, I want your peace and your wisdom as I move through this life. As I move, as I move.