REJECTED!
I was rejected by a computer. That stings. It took me hours to fill out the application and figure out to upload my college transcript, cover letter and resume.
I wracked my brain thinking of three people I could list as references, they had to be intelligent, articulate and like me enough to say good things to strangers about me.
I searched the drawers and finally found my college transcript and Cassidy helped me figure out how to scan it, slap it on a thingy and put it on the desk top.
I strained to remember exact dates that I left one job and started another going back over ten years.
I took a mental inventory of my marketable skills and talents and tried to ignore the little voice in my head that whispered ( is that all you can do?).
I made a list of computer applications and hardware that I am proficient in or is it "of which I am proficient in"?
Finally after a little more than a day of gathering it all, I submitted my application for Director of Marketing and Communications at Armstrong State University.
I took a deep breath and hit "submit" after completing the application.
It took the computer about 20 seconds to respond.
"You do not meet minimum requirements for this position".
Rejected in 20 seconds. Harsh!
I have to say I was more than a little disappointed and I immediately felt sorry for myself, as if I was the only one in the world feeling that kind of rejection.
I felt lonely and not good enough.
It's not a good place to be in but, I know it's just temporary. I'm not gonna settle down here. I know feelings are not reality.
Feelings come and go and I can't judge myself or my situation on how I'm feeling at the moment.
I know in my mind that I'm not the only one to be rejected in the world.
I know in my mind that God is bigger than my problems of trying to find a new job. I know that God knows about my desire to find a new position. I know God provides me with what I need when I need it according to his will.
I trust God because he is bigger than my struggle.
So while it stinks getting rejected by a computer,
I will be Okay.
I'm not doing this in my own strength and power. I am relying on God to lead me to where he wants me to be in his own time and way. That gives me peace and even though my bruised ego and disappointment are having a pity party in my head, I will be fine.
God says "If you abide in me and my word abides in you. ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done unto you." (John 15:7)
I'm abiding and asking and waiting on God's provision.
So it's that old computer's lost. it just passed up a pretty good thing.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
October 15, 2014
"Name 20 things you could be doing right now."
Those eight words and that one number opened up my eyes.
I made the list at work today, it wasn't hard. The ideas and activities just kept coming.
I needed that list. I needed the rope it provided me.
That rope pulled me up from the quicksand.
The quicksand is my addiction to the mindless soap opera message board Daytime Dish. It's a place where soap fans go to insult, attack and devour each other. It's fueled by obsession over fictional people. I've been a DD devotee for longer that I am comfortable saying. Yes I've taken part in baiting, gloating and bickering synonymous with the site.
I've become purple with rage at people I've never seen over characters that don't exist.
It was my cigarettes break, my comfy couch in front to the TV. It was how I decompressed after a day of deadlines and navigating the manic TV newsroom. I immersed myself in DD.
What happened on General Hospital today what Liz Webber, my favorite character did. When Genie Francis might possible be coming back to the show?
I existed off of it. But it demanded a big chunk of me It could devour three hours of my night in the blink of an eye.
I knew it was obsession, and I tried to put it down and walk away.
I failed. So I prayed about it, and failed to put it down. So I prayed some more.
One day, while roaming the Dish, wisdom whispered in my ear.
"What are 20 things you could be doing right now?"
I made a list, a wonderful, glorious list.
It's full of family, relationships, caring, work, health. faith.
Call your Mother and tell her you love her.
Pray
Read the Bible
Go for a walk
Read a book
Go talk to your daughter
Go play video games with your son
Call a friend
Call one of your 7 brothers and Sisters and catch up
Write a hand written note of encouragement to a friend
Clean out a junk drawer or closet
The List called to me. The List was life, my life.
My life neglected, my life waiting for me to
engage it, to take hold and live it!!!
The List is my lifesaver.
"Name 20 things you could be doing right now."
Those eight words and that one number opened up my eyes.
I made the list at work today, it wasn't hard. The ideas and activities just kept coming.
I needed that list. I needed the rope it provided me.
That rope pulled me up from the quicksand.
The quicksand is my addiction to the mindless soap opera message board Daytime Dish. It's a place where soap fans go to insult, attack and devour each other. It's fueled by obsession over fictional people. I've been a DD devotee for longer that I am comfortable saying. Yes I've taken part in baiting, gloating and bickering synonymous with the site.
I've become purple with rage at people I've never seen over characters that don't exist.
It was my cigarettes break, my comfy couch in front to the TV. It was how I decompressed after a day of deadlines and navigating the manic TV newsroom. I immersed myself in DD.
What happened on General Hospital today what Liz Webber, my favorite character did. When Genie Francis might possible be coming back to the show?
I existed off of it. But it demanded a big chunk of me It could devour three hours of my night in the blink of an eye.
I knew it was obsession, and I tried to put it down and walk away.
I failed. So I prayed about it, and failed to put it down. So I prayed some more.
One day, while roaming the Dish, wisdom whispered in my ear.
"What are 20 things you could be doing right now?"
I made a list, a wonderful, glorious list.
It's full of family, relationships, caring, work, health. faith.
Call your Mother and tell her you love her.
Pray
Read the Bible
Go for a walk
Read a book
Go talk to your daughter
Go play video games with your son
Call a friend
Call one of your 7 brothers and Sisters and catch up
Write a hand written note of encouragement to a friend
Clean out a junk drawer or closet
The List called to me. The List was life, my life.
My life neglected, my life waiting for me to
engage it, to take hold and live it!!!
The List is my lifesaver.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
When did it happen? What was I so busy with that I didn't notice it? It must have crept up slowly
like a cat that is across the room one minute then wrapped around your legs the next.
When did things get turned upside down?
When did good become bad, right become wrong,
decency become something to scorn?
No this is not a rant about how society is going to hell in a hand basket, wait, maybe it is.
This is how it started, I was watching ANTM or America's Next Top Model ( that was my first mistake) with my husband.
At the end of the show the models go to what's known as The Judges Table. That's where Tyra and her slightly ridiculous co- judges, look at each contestant's picture to decide if they're weird, beautiful, yet edgy enough to stay on the show another week.
One contestant, I'll call him, Scott showed up dressed in a suit. Now this man was extremely handsome, he face looked like it belonged on a
GQ cover. Scott stands there allowing the judges to critique his picture, sniffing with disdain at what the perceive are flaws and, oh the horror, posing mistakes.
Scott's picture is not as fierce as they would like even though it looks flawless to me, rank amateur that I am.
Scott stands there like a student before a panel of principals. He is quiet, respectful and clearly humbled.
If he dares defend his photo in any way, one of the more flamboyant judges will use it as a reason to wildly overreact for the cameras.
So when Scott's inquisition is over, Trya mercifully demises him but not before one final comment. She ask "Why are you wearing that suit?" Scott can't understand the question, neither can I. The man clearly chose the nicest suit he had with the intention of looking his best at judges table.
They treat him like he showed up in a dirty torn t-shirt and boxer shorts.
She told him the suit was a no no, and she ordered him to never wear anything like it again. With a condescending smile on her face, she suggested jeans and a T- shirt would be more appropriate.
When did wearing a suit become offensive? I guess it was so old fashioned that Trya felt like it was a slap in the face to the uber edginess
that is ANTM.
My irritation and anger over Scott's treatment and Tyra's attitude got the little wheels moving in my brain.
It dawned on me that some things are now turned on their heads in society.
What's good is bad and what's bad is good.
Waiting for sex until marriage, is now considered bizarre and out of touch.
A woman who wants to do as the Bible instructs and be subject to her Husband is treated like an unambitious twit by today's "Girl, you need to train your man to do your will" devotees.
Choosing to live a life of moderation, honesty and kindness to others is met with derision by the cool, tattooed, booze hounds of the world.
The world that calls you a fool if you want to spend you life helping others instead of pursuing the largest salary and the biggest house possible.
The world that looks at you like you grew two heads when you say you still cook dinner for your family.
The world that encourages you to arm your 14 year old daughter with a pill to protect against STD's, and contraceptives then smile sweetly as she expresses her sexually.
Bad behavior is applauded, even celebrated. Thumbing your nose at convention, common sense and propriety will get you your own reality show or at the very least an appearance on The Today Show.
Now all you need to attain fame and fortune is a sex tape or a hundred thousand hits on YouTube.
It's not just the outrageous, it's the little things too.
Please, thank you, the use of the turn signal, they're all disappearing like the buffalo.
Courtesy, etiquette, and hand written notes are becoming a thing of the past.
Now you can show up for work in shoes that we used to wear in the shower or a public pool.
Female news anchors can wear spaghetti straps and tattoos.
Yes the world is changing, I know it's not 1950's anymore and I don't want it to be.
But society needs some things need to stick around.
The world is not too cool for kindness, modesty, graciousness.
And sorry Tyra, a man in a suit is rarely a bad thing.
like a cat that is across the room one minute then wrapped around your legs the next.
When did things get turned upside down?
When did good become bad, right become wrong,
decency become something to scorn?
No this is not a rant about how society is going to hell in a hand basket, wait, maybe it is.
This is how it started, I was watching ANTM or America's Next Top Model ( that was my first mistake) with my husband.
At the end of the show the models go to what's known as The Judges Table. That's where Tyra and her slightly ridiculous co- judges, look at each contestant's picture to decide if they're weird, beautiful, yet edgy enough to stay on the show another week.
One contestant, I'll call him, Scott showed up dressed in a suit. Now this man was extremely handsome, he face looked like it belonged on a
GQ cover. Scott stands there allowing the judges to critique his picture, sniffing with disdain at what the perceive are flaws and, oh the horror, posing mistakes.
Scott's picture is not as fierce as they would like even though it looks flawless to me, rank amateur that I am.
Scott stands there like a student before a panel of principals. He is quiet, respectful and clearly humbled.
If he dares defend his photo in any way, one of the more flamboyant judges will use it as a reason to wildly overreact for the cameras.
So when Scott's inquisition is over, Trya mercifully demises him but not before one final comment. She ask "Why are you wearing that suit?" Scott can't understand the question, neither can I. The man clearly chose the nicest suit he had with the intention of looking his best at judges table.
They treat him like he showed up in a dirty torn t-shirt and boxer shorts.
She told him the suit was a no no, and she ordered him to never wear anything like it again. With a condescending smile on her face, she suggested jeans and a T- shirt would be more appropriate.
When did wearing a suit become offensive? I guess it was so old fashioned that Trya felt like it was a slap in the face to the uber edginess
that is ANTM.
My irritation and anger over Scott's treatment and Tyra's attitude got the little wheels moving in my brain.
It dawned on me that some things are now turned on their heads in society.
What's good is bad and what's bad is good.
Waiting for sex until marriage, is now considered bizarre and out of touch.
A woman who wants to do as the Bible instructs and be subject to her Husband is treated like an unambitious twit by today's "Girl, you need to train your man to do your will" devotees.
Choosing to live a life of moderation, honesty and kindness to others is met with derision by the cool, tattooed, booze hounds of the world.
The world that calls you a fool if you want to spend you life helping others instead of pursuing the largest salary and the biggest house possible.
The world that looks at you like you grew two heads when you say you still cook dinner for your family.
The world that encourages you to arm your 14 year old daughter with a pill to protect against STD's, and contraceptives then smile sweetly as she expresses her sexually.
Bad behavior is applauded, even celebrated. Thumbing your nose at convention, common sense and propriety will get you your own reality show or at the very least an appearance on The Today Show.
Now all you need to attain fame and fortune is a sex tape or a hundred thousand hits on YouTube.
It's not just the outrageous, it's the little things too.
Please, thank you, the use of the turn signal, they're all disappearing like the buffalo.
Courtesy, etiquette, and hand written notes are becoming a thing of the past.
Now you can show up for work in shoes that we used to wear in the shower or a public pool.
Female news anchors can wear spaghetti straps and tattoos.
Yes the world is changing, I know it's not 1950's anymore and I don't want it to be.
But society needs some things need to stick around.
The world is not too cool for kindness, modesty, graciousness.
And sorry Tyra, a man in a suit is rarely a bad thing.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Do It Now If You Don't Feel Like Doing It At All!
I'm learning to dance through life with discipline as one of my many partners.
I still don't like her, she's not a fun loving, care free kinda girl. She's not like my friend Folly.
Folly is fun, Folly let's me do what I want. Folly is the free spirit.
But Folly is a tricky girl, Folly can and has gotten me into BIG trouble.
Another pal of mine, name of Wisdom, gave me the low down on Folly. At the same time she introduced my to Discipline.
Folly always shows me a good time, but Wisdom showed me Folly true colors. Girl is a back stabber.
Folly likes me better when I'm weak and weak
willed.
Folly wants me to binge watch Netflix instead of going for a walk.
Folly tries to get me to choose 5 dollar pizza instead of making baked chicken and a salad.
Folly wants Starbucks every other day and
Chedder's chocolate cake every Saturday night.
When Wisdom told me about Discipline, I was not impressed. I thought " she sounds like a wet
blanket".
Still, I decided to.try to get to know her because Folly had gotten me in some real scrapes. I figured I needed a change.
Our relationship is still pretty young, but I've noticed a few things about myself when I hang
around the new girl.
When I spend time with D, I feel better about myself. I'm stronger around D, I'm healthier and
motivated when I spend time in her company.
No D is not the party girl that Fol is , but she is a much better companion in the dance of life.
So I'm learning how hang out with Discipline.
I'm learning to let her into the areas of my life that Folly used to rule. It's not easy, sometimes I want to call up Fol and just go have some fun. Truth is I still do every now and then. But I think I need D a
lot more than I need Folly. Wiz was right, that girl gives some righteous advice.
So I'm traveling through life with my pals Wisdom and Discipline, but we're not alone. Faith, Love and Courage are also going along for the ride.
But that's another story.
Folly is fun, Folly let's me do what I want. Folly is the free spirit.
But Folly is a tricky girl, Folly can and has gotten me into BIG trouble.
Another pal of mine, name of Wisdom, gave me the low down on Folly. At the same time she introduced my to Discipline.
Folly always shows me a good time, but Wisdom showed me Folly true colors. Girl is a back stabber.
Folly likes me better when I'm weak and weak
willed.
Folly wants me to binge watch Netflix instead of going for a walk.
Folly tries to get me to choose 5 dollar pizza instead of making baked chicken and a salad.
Folly wants Starbucks every other day and
Chedder's chocolate cake every Saturday night.
When Wisdom told me about Discipline, I was not impressed. I thought " she sounds like a wet
blanket".
Still, I decided to.try to get to know her because Folly had gotten me in some real scrapes. I figured I needed a change.
Our relationship is still pretty young, but I've noticed a few things about myself when I hang
around the new girl.
When I spend time with D, I feel better about myself. I'm stronger around D, I'm healthier and
motivated when I spend time in her company.
No D is not the party girl that Fol is , but she is a much better companion in the dance of life.
So I'm learning how hang out with Discipline.
I'm learning to let her into the areas of my life that Folly used to rule. It's not easy, sometimes I want to call up Fol and just go have some fun. Truth is I still do every now and then. But I think I need D a
lot more than I need Folly. Wiz was right, that girl gives some righteous advice.
So I'm traveling through life with my pals Wisdom and Discipline, but we're not alone. Faith, Love and Courage are also going along for the ride.
But that's another story.
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