When The Dog Bites...


Only two months old and already injured in the line of duty.   Today I found a minuscule crack in the windshield of my little red Nissan Rogue.
One of the things that make me go... arghhh!!! 
Seems there's been a lot of them lately...

The visit to the tax man that ended with the gut punching revelation that instead of getting cash back, we owed good old Uncle S. this year.

Remembering that it's my turn to do the week long graveyard shift at work. 4 and a half hours of sleep followed by ten hours of piecing together an hour long early morning newscast. Swigging coffee through the night to stay alert then driving home in a zombie daze at 8am when the shift ends.
The soul sucking reality that I don't have ten thousand dollars in my rainy day fund  so my kid can go away to college.   Turns out her scholarship covers tuition not room and board.
Apparently they think parents who can't afford to pay their kids way through college, but can handle the ten thousand  dollar need for books and board.

These are the disappointments, let downs, slights, all of them woven into the fabric of my everyday life.   
It reminds me of one of my favorite songs, "Favorite Things"
The line goes, "when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling saaaaaad".
It goes on, "I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel soooo baaaad."
That may work for Maria and the children but not for me.

When my life gets rude with me, when my circumstances seem to work against me and sneer in my face, when I feel like I'm in a six feet deep hole with no way out.
I look to the hills,  not the ones in the Sound of Music.  I look to the hills from whence cometh my help.  (Psalm 121:1-5) I look to my Father in heaven, my Savior and friend Jesus.
He has me even when life lets me down.
Even when things are bad, God is good, Jesus is with me. I can rest in him, lean on him, walk in his strength, guidance and peace.  He will help me, he will walk me through it or help me out of it.   
"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be removed he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold he that keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper, the Lord is your shade on your right hand."  

When the bee stings, and the bills are unpaid, and the dog bites, and the jobs drives me nuts. 
I Look up!  God is never far away, I talk to him, I lay my burden at his feet.

My problems don't disappear, but his presence and peace appears.    He lifts me above my circumstances.

He is there when life gets ugly and hard. That is enough.

The Little Things


The sweet sunny sounds of jazz warbling from the radio on the drive home.

The red and orange streaked evening sky

Getting three hearts and a happy face emoji from my Husband in the middle of the day.

Sitting on the beach on a Friday morning with him instead of being at my desk.

The way it feels when I get a hug from Cassidy or Connor.

Seeing the new fluffy white buds on the little tree in the back yard in March.

Watching a yellow butterfly flitter by.. seeing a green breasted humming bird hovering at my front porch feeder.

Hearing God whisper wisdom in my ear as I soak my heart and mind in his word.

Holding hands with Tracy as we cross a street or walk along the Riverfront.

 A morning walk to clear the cobwebs and get my heart pumping.

An unexpected, uncontrollable belly laugh.

Watching a kite dance in the wind.

Browsing through the Paris Market.
A good book that you just don't want to put down.

The far away sound of a lawn mower or the drone of an airplane on a hot June day.

Watching children play in a fountain when it's sweltering.

The Atlanta skyline at night.
Watching an old movie in a pair of comfortable pajamas.

Catching up with an old friend.

These are the things that soothe me.
These are the things that feed my soul.
When there is stress, fear, uncertainty, frustration, these are the things that calm, encourage,  provide peace and give hope.
These are the little things that make life good.

I'm Not Her!

 I'm not her.. I'm not the 8 year old listening to them downstairs laughing over pancakes, feeling left out and alone.

I'm not her..  Watching him lavish love and attention on the youngest daughter while directing irritation and criticism my way. The constant question at the dinner table, " why are you primping?"  I was a clueless kid with no idea what he meant and how I was primping but his tone told me it was something I needed to stop.

I'm not her.. The middle girl, fourth of eight  Not the oldest, the youngest, the show off, the pretty one, or the bold bad boy. I was lost in the crowd of stand outs.

Laughing with everyone but only pretending to feel it.  All four eyes and pudgy with a cry they laughingly told me sounded like a cow mooing .

I'm not her..
I'm not that 8 year old little girl.. I'm 53.  
But she has always been beside me.. trying to make the world realize that she's not ugly and unexceptional.
Looking for acceptance and approval like the hope of rain.

I'm not her.. I'm his. He sees me, knows me, loves me. 
The little girl is gone, in her place is the woman who has a Father.
I'm in his family.. He has filled up my empty spaces and fulfilled my longing.

I'm not her... I'm his.